What to do with the junk in your trunk

When I first heard the lyrics to The Black Eyed Peas song “My Humps,” I was not thinking about ass. “Whatcha gonna do with all that junk/all that junk/inside your trunk? Bodies belong in a trunk. Dead ones. But that’s me, and I’m dark, hence the combo of ass worship and asphyxiation.

Why does the derrière hold such avid appeal? Why do we compare it to peaches, bubbles, and bookshelves? Why do some of us wish to worship it in less than hygienic ways?

If you’re a lover of ass, the why doesn’t matter. Sitting in a crowded cafe, riding public transportation, or just walking down the street, all it takes is a svelte form packed into a pair of leggings for logical thought to fly from your mind like a flock of geese heading south. Those of us who understand your dilemma know you can’t stop it. Booty is your Kryptonite.

If you’re a lover of asphyxiation, it’s nearly impossible to describe the erotic helplessness of passing out under the hands of a ruthless vixen, or the delicious rush of power when the vixen subdues a helpless body. Those of us who practice blood and breath restriction know its dangers and relish in the aftershocks.

Blood asphyxiation occurs during a chokehold, specifically when a pair of arms, hands, or thighs squeeze the carotid arteries in the neck, preventing blood from reaching the brain. The resulting effect is a knock-out or when the player goes unconscious. One can use other implements such as ropes, silk stockings, and neck ties, but really, nothing replaces skin on skin.

Breath asphyxiation occurs during breast and ass smothering, hand-over-mouth (HOM), foot-over-mouth, plastic bag suffocation, water torture, and gagging. The same principles apply. Lack of oxygen shuts down the main CPU.

At face value (ha! I crack myself up), these kinky niches are miles apart, but they have one aspect in common. Both love sensual surrender, made all the more memorable when mixed with the heady edge of panic.

The slippery slope into oblivion—where the self is an idea, a concept really—is like watching a shipwreck survivor wave from a desert island FAAAAARRRRR in the distance. Hello, over there! I can’t rescue you today, but I’ll send a boat later. If you’ve never been KO’d, you don’t know what I’m talking about, and that’s okay.

The point is that the variety of kinky fetishy play is astronomical. Slap a fantasy scenario on face-sitting and you’ve got sexual power for months, possibly years. Same goes with asphyxiation and feminine domination. Here’s the IMPORTANT PART: No one should ever be unconscious more than a couple seconds, if that. Got it?

An Ass Worship Scenario

The ass lover wishes to worship; kissing, sucking, nibbling, tonguing, diving deep into the crevices of Peach Kingdom that is also the waste removal system, but only a small percentage of kinksters want to harp on this fact. As any knowledgable gay man will tell you, with the right preparation, it can be a squeaky clean experience.

For many smothering lovers, the biggest high is being sensually dominated and forced to service the goddess, only surfacing from her fleshy depths when the need for air is eminent.

EXAMPLE: You’re a pathetic wimp, and I’m the big strong bully girl in gym class. I’ve thrown you to the mat, pinned you down, and am laughing at your attempts to get free. Sitting on your chest, it’s a threat. I’m pointing a finger in your face, telling you the only place for a weak man is beneath a woman’s crotch. You can’t do anything about it, so I’m going to force you to give me head. Any protests you might have are quickly smothered by the largess of my bottom.

If you’re good at oral, I might let you breathe. If you’re not, well, you’ll be trying to evade and sip air where you can. At any rate, you’re a worm on a hook, and to play with you, I let you get away, only to reel you back in and under my aesthetics.

It takes a long time for someone to pass out under breath control. We’re talking minutes instead of seconds. This is tricky. The good doctors of the world (many of which are into this kind of play, no surprise there), will tell you putting your heart and lungs under duress is not for the faint of heart, literally. I will tell you, the idea of drowning in a woman’s cum should probably be left in your “fantasy” folder, although a nice tongue up the ass never hurt anyone.

An Asphyxiation Scenario

For many KO lovers, the biggest high is having a female wrestle you to the ground while making sure neither gets hurt. This is about force, not about pain. While you are trying to escape, she sneaks her arms or thighs around your neck, and squeezes. She’s so strong and proficient, the lights dim, tunnel vision, and poof, you’re waking up in her lap with a helluva head rush and possibly her hand stroking your cock.

EXAMPLE: Say I’m putting you in a rear naked choke. It will take me less than ten seconds to apply the right amount of steady, consistent force before your body goes limp. During that time, your back is pressed into my chest. I’m paying attention to your breath and the beating of your heart. You’ll be tense, waiting, anticipating the fall into darkness, and trying to focus on the fantasy that led you into such a questionable path.

Like a puppet master, I’m absorbing your responses so I can anticipate that exact moment when your body gets soft and heavy and wiggly. As soon as this happens, I release the pressure from you neck. A wave of pent-up blood swirls into your brain, accompanied by a serious dose of adrenaline. If I do it right, it’s quick and painless, and you come to like its a Baptist revival, and we have begun to speak in tongues.

To those who have never been humiliated in a sensual way, or been threatened and later fetishized the event to the extent of optimal arousal, poor you.

Kidding. We don’t do judgments in this blog. What I mean to say is, enacting power exchange can be a game changer. Personally, my fetish is fetishes. The why, where, how, when, what, it’s just a giant story. Most of the time, it’s better because it’s based on reality. Fantasy is great, don’t get me wrong, but nothing will push you to the edges of consciousness like potentially losing it.

Is this the time for the public service announcement? Probably. Okay, kids, I’m not going to say, “Don’t try this at home,” because that’s lame. Where else would you try it, a public park? Yikes. I am going to say, don’t try this with someone you do not trust. If you don’t know if someone is trust-worthy, that’s another issue; send me an email and we’ll chat.

Don’t try these scenarios when you’re intoxicated. You could possibly die, and it will ruin everyone’s high. You don’t need drugs or alcohol if you do this right, that’s why they exist, and lots of people pay good money to experience dangerous methods of kink in the presence of one who knows what the fuck they’re doing.

Find the pros so you can reap the rewards from those who believe Safe, Sane, and Consensual should be taught in grammar school. A professional is someone who is meticulous with detail, who studies anatomy and martial arts, who loves the fact they can have life/death control over a human body, and who knows power is potent chemistry, not to be abused.

Hell, if you can’t find that, at least you have someone like me who writes about it. There are worse things that could happen.

Categories: Butt

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